Redefining Expectations

I like that a lot of our interactions on this group entail some level of trying to reframe our thinking about how who or when to help in different situations. It helps me to grow when I regularly allow my paradigms to be challenged, or redefined.

Earlier this week I had a brief interaction with a guy, probably in his late teens or early 20's, in the heart of downtown. He needed food and I offered to get him some. When I asked him what he wanted to eat he gave what sounded like his default answer of the cheapest menu item from the subway across the street. When I asked if he was sure, he stopped himself mid-way through his affirmation to say,

"No, um... I want ... let's see what do I want ... I want ... chicken breast (his voice now sounding like the hunger that was showing on his face) ... yeah, chicken breast!"
"Any special sauce or flavor?"
"No, just chicken breast."
"Do you want anything else?"
"No, just chicken breast."

It wasn't so much the words as it was the tone in his voice that caught my attention. In a matter of seconds his voice went from careless desperation, to considering options, to a flicker of excitement. That is the type of exchange I like having with the people I meet. There's a sense of resignation that takes over people's senses when they feel down trodden. We've all experienced it at one time or another. I had that feeling for much of last year when I felt trapped in a situation at work.

I want to have the kinds of interactions with people that not only challenge me to have more of a "natural inclination to give a hand immediately, the first time, the inconvenient time, the time when nobody else has stopped" as Ryan stated. I also want my interactions with people to leave them hoping for better and in touch with things that are uniquely them. In this circumstance it was someone remembering they like chicken breast. Last night it was a coworker who realized that his talent and skills were not as overlooked as he believed. Last week it was helping a friend feel more confident about her strengths as we revised her resume. The common denominator in all of these is that people both hoped for a little bit more and saw a way to apply their uniqueness to go after it. I want that to be the lingering fragrance of my exchanges with people.